Making excuses for my wrong attitudes keeps me in bondage. Focusing on past hurts and using them to explain why I respond to current situations, is both making an excuse and an addiction to self-pity.
I have, for as long as I can remember, used situations to gain pity from others. I want what I have dealt with in my life to make others think that I am amazing for being able to be so "strong." I want the wow factor. I am addicted to it.
I am not going to try to excuse my behavior, I am going to confess and acknowledge were I am allowing myself to remain in bondage.
My attitude of self-pity and my desire to have others pity me could have started as sibling rivalry, or being second born and the middle child. It could have also been passed on to me from my parents as a learned temperament. It fed off of the emotional abuse from a parent, the bullying from the others kids in my life and then it became habitual.
Again I am not making excuses. I am trying to identify my issues. In finding out the source, I discover many different attitudes that need to be addressed.
I need to retrain myself. I have to acknowledge that I allowed myself to let my life situations bring me to self-pity. I have chosen to own that label.
I have accepted that a life in CHRIST is victorious. I know that I do not have to live a life that is so unsatisfactory. I no longer have to try to make myself look amazing to others.
LORD, I turn this over to YOU. I come down from my pedestal. Being up here doesn't make me closer to YOU.
I have, for as long as I can remember, used situations to gain pity from others. I want what I have dealt with in my life to make others think that I am amazing for being able to be so "strong." I want the wow factor. I am addicted to it.
I am not going to try to excuse my behavior, I am going to confess and acknowledge were I am allowing myself to remain in bondage.
My attitude of self-pity and my desire to have others pity me could have started as sibling rivalry, or being second born and the middle child. It could have also been passed on to me from my parents as a learned temperament. It fed off of the emotional abuse from a parent, the bullying from the others kids in my life and then it became habitual.
Again I am not making excuses. I am trying to identify my issues. In finding out the source, I discover many different attitudes that need to be addressed.
I need to retrain myself. I have to acknowledge that I allowed myself to let my life situations bring me to self-pity. I have chosen to own that label.
I have accepted that a life in CHRIST is victorious. I know that I do not have to live a life that is so unsatisfactory. I no longer have to try to make myself look amazing to others.
LORD, I turn this over to YOU. I come down from my pedestal. Being up here doesn't make me closer to YOU.
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